Old Rhodie Park

I took a walk this morning through an old, unfinished rhododendron park. There are a few short trails that are evidence of planning, but otherwise the area is natural -- overgrown in parts -- but beautiful. There are several varieties of rhodies and azaleas, dogwoods, forget-me-nots and decorative trees. The towering evergreens, for which this part of the country is so well-known, are also present. Stepping into the park is like stepping back in time. I feel like I'm in a fairytale. My footsteps are muffled and I find myself talking in a low, quiet voice. Last time I visited nothing was in bloom. Today there were different colors around every corner. I took these pictures for my MI mom. My WA mom took some of them, too. I thought MI mom would enjoy seeing them. Can't wait for her to get here!

Living With Abandon

"She smiles, but I laugh."

~Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

The idea of resting and trusting is still rattling around in my brain, as is the thought I wrote about the other day from Sarah Young...allowing moments to be half-lived, slipping through our fingers. I have always had a thirst for embracing the moment, soaking up every last ounce of living from each day. I never wanted to miss even a second. Somewhere along the way, I've lost that passion. I don't know when it happened. I don't know why. I just know I want it back. I want to get up in the morning and smell the new day. I want to feel the wet grass on my bare feet. I want to sit outside and listen to the birds. I want to feel the breeze on my face. I want to talk to my neighbor across the street. I want to hike in the mountains, camp by the ocean, fish in the streams. I want to pay for the person behind me in the drive-thru lane, talk to the commuter next to me on the bus. I want to leave an extra big tip under my empty water glass with a note of thanks for the service I received (even if it wasn't that great!) I want to water-ski, jet-ski and downhill ski. I want to do cannonballs off the front of the pontoon. I want to lick the frosting from the knife. I want to play with the little ones God has brought into my life. I want to play with the teens God has brought into my life. I want to play with the older friends God has brought into my life. I want to learn...EVERYTHING. I want to be the instrument of care and compassion to someone else. I want to sit on my balcony and listen to the frogs at night. I want to sit on my parents' deck and listen to their frogs at night. I want the love of my Father to be poured out on those with whom I come in contact. I want to be used up by my Savior. I don't want to hold back. I want to embrace my journey with open arms. While others are content to smile through life, poised and proper, I want to laugh -- deeply, from the core of my being, head thrown back, eyes closed, tears trailing down my cheeks, totally abandoned to the moment.

This and That

First of all, I didn't make it to the gym today. Why? I didn't make it out of bed until it was time to work. I will try again tomorrow. What I am learning is it is better to listen to my body than try to force myself to do what I think it "should" do. If it was too tired to get out of bed then it was probably better that I allowed it to rest.

Secondly, I was going to write about what I read in 1 Corinthians today but the only thing I came away with is that it seems as though Paul likes to boast even though he tells everyone not to boast and assures us all that he is humble. I got sidetracked. I'll have to read with a more spiritual mind later.

Thirdly, (are these words? secondly, thirdly...??) here are a few reasons I haven't quit my job yet.

Thought for Today

Rest

I think it is interesting how we can read something and hear something a thousand times but then, one day, it's like the meaning of it has opened to us in a new way. I have been learning about "rest" for the past 2 1/2 years. What does it mean to be still? What does it mean to rest in the Lord? I was thinking about the verses in Matthew (11: 28 & 29)...

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

When I first began studying this topic it was because my life was "too full." I was teaching and supervising the dorm, raising a teenager, volunteering, and spending most of my free moments helping my Amy escape the confines of her home. I wanted to know what it looked and felt like to be still. I wanted to learn how to shake off the expectations of others - including those of the church - and find rest in the Lord. I wanted to be doing what He wanted me to do, not what others wanted me to do.

This doesn't seem to be a subject I have exhausted because today it came to mind again only from a different angle. I have simplified my life, I no longer meet myself coming and going, yet I think I am far from being still. My habit now is to excessively plan. I try to force a new future for myself. I try to do it alone. In Luke (12:22-34) Jesus talks to his disciples about planning and worrying. I'm going to summarize and paraphrase a little bit...

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life...who of you, by worrying can add a single hour to it? Since you can't even add one hour - a very simple thing - why do you worry about the rest? Consider the lilies. They don't work or labor. Yet you won't find even a king dressed as splendidly as one of these flowers. If God cares so much about them, imagine the thought He bestows on you! You have such little faith. And DO NOT PLAN what comes next...do not worry about it. This is what the world does. Your Father knows what you need. Seek Him. Everything, including your future, will be provided for."

My Father does not ask me to "help" Him plan my life. He created me for Himself. It is only through Him that I will find refreshment, restoration, guidance, stillness. Sarah Young says in her book Jesus Calling that "most people let their moments slip through their fingers, half-lived. They avoid the present by worrying about the future or longing for a better time and place." I'm afraid I am guilty of this. How many moments have I allowed to slip through my fingers? My Creator is with me now, at this moment, in the present. He longs for me to come to Him, to walk with Him, to rest in Him.

"You made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find rest in You."
-St. Augustine

My New Toys

A few weekends ago my laptop accidentally got kicked off a bed. A couple of pieces busted off and by the time I replaced them plus bought a new charger and new battery it ended up being cheaper to buy a new computer. I decided to purchase an Inspiron Mini from Dell. It has a 10" screen, built in Digital TV tuner, extra "rabbit ears" to clasp on top of the screen and fun video and picture stuff to play with. It was less expensive than a full-size computer and will be much lighter when I travel. I also bought a new digital camera. I love my old one -- it was just too expensive to keep it in batteries. I am excited to start taking pictures again.

See the "mini" size?



Notice the rabbit ears!



Now I don't have to use my phone to take pictures.

Reminder of the Day