Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Crazy?

Fair warning...you are entering crazy woman territory. That's where I've been the past month or so if you've been looking for me. This knee injury, recovery, missed time off work, adjustment period, dealing with people stuff has tested my coping skills in a major way. I can't say I've handled it all with grace and finesse. I've discovered that my body does not heal well after being cut open. Some people get gentle white lines as reminders of their trauma. Not me, I get jagged purple gashes permanently etched in the fabric of my skin. The kind that make people wonder, "What happened to her?" I think it's fitting. Those gashes are a visual symbol of how I'm healing on the inside. Untidy and ugly. 

I feel like people are pulling at me from all sides, expecting things from me that are impossible. Treating me in ways they wouldn't stand for but pulling the "Christian" card and insinuating I am being self-centered by opposing their will. Unkind, unthoughtful, conscious only of their own comfort. That woman above? Yeah, that's how I feel. Go ahead. Do it again. I'm ready. Crazy woman is in town.

I have so many things to do, so many people to please, so little time, so little help, so little understanding that I am quickly on my way to losing my mind. If you find me one night, wandering the streets, speaking to the stars through my planetary headgear, you'll know I've lost it. And you'll have an inkling why.

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