I was in a funk the other night, mad at a few people for not being mind readers, feeling sorry for myself and I came up with the thought that I have lived through a very hellacious year. I knew in my head what I thought that word meant so I looked it up and this is one of the definitions I really liked...formidably difficult. That's how this past year has felt to me. I began listing all the reasons my life is so awful but I was only able to stay in that "place" for a little while before my heartbeat for truth kicked in. Yes, there were difficult moments, difficult days, months even...but there were blessings, too, so here is my new list:
Difficulty #1: I blew out my knee in November and didn't have it repaired until February.
Blessing #1: I had a brother and a momMA and a Megan willing to help with anything I couldn't easily do on my own. I was not alone.
Difficulty #2: I was on crutches for over five months.
Blessing #2: I've had plenty of practice and I'm strong. I'm also coordinated. The crutches didn't defeat me!
Difficulty #3: My injury was serious enough to require surgery.
Blessing #3: I have health insurance and everything was covered by workers' compensation.
Difficulty #4: Recovery period prohibited driving, going up steps or weight-bearing.
Blessing #4: My momMA opened her home and nursed me through the worst of it. My grandma took the train and traveled over 50 hours to help me adjust to life back at my own house. My friends and family from around the country took every opportunity to encourage and reach out long-distance.
Difficulty #5: I had to miss work and we don't get paid sick days.
Blessing #5: L&I compensated me for pay-loss and I had a wonderful case manager.
Difficulty #6: I had to miss work and we don't get substitute teachers.
Blessing #6: I got a substitute teacher!
Difficulty #7: I had to get a new car to replace beloved Sidda.
Blessing #7: I have the financial means to get a new car.
Difficulty #8: I had to put in many, many extra hours to create answer keys to Honors courses.
Blessing #8: The principal agreed to reimburse me for my time.
Difficulty #9: I had to put in many, many extra hours to create a yearbook.
Blessing #9: I was able to work with my students and see the pride on their faces when the finished books were in their hands.
Difficulty #10: I have a broken patella.
Blessing #10: Because it took so long to have my ACL repaired, my knee was immobilized for several weeks. This may have given the kneecap time to heal without me having to be in a full-leg cast.
I could keep going, but 10 is a nice even number, so I'll stop. The point is, there were difficulties but there were blessings. Blessings I would have missed if it weren't for the trials. Thank you, Lord, for meeting my needs. Thank you for being my Leader and Protector and Defender and Advocate. You are my King and you are my Abba-daddy.
printable can be found here