Of Habit and Nails

"A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit."

~Erasmus

I am reading the book, "One Thousand Gifts," by Ann Voskamp. It is quite amazing and has begun to pierce through the shroud of anger and bitterness I've wrapped around myself. There is way too much to write about but one of the things that has jumped off the pages and settled itself into the tender parts of my heart is this question and corresponding thoughts:

~Why have I never learned the language of "thanks in all things" fluently? Maybe because I have never PRACTICED! Practiced until it became second nature, first skin. Practice is the hardest part of learning. (Yes, memories of training to get off a jump shot after running full-tilt down the court is a good reminder!)

Practice. Hammer. Practice. Hammer. Practice. Hammer.

I make plans. They get disrupted. I dream. It is not fulfilled in the way I imagined. I grumble. I complain. I ask, "Why?" (Ask? Demand is probably more like it.) It is all about me. All about chaos and unpredictability and disorder and unsettledness. Do I worship? Ha. Do I give thanks? There are so many examples in the Bible of thanks being given during very difficult circumstances followed by a blessing received. "On the night He was betrayed, Jesus broke bread and GAVE THANKS..." When we empty ourselves of our own expectations, when we are able to give thanks as a way of talking to the Lord and acknowledging His work, when we make room for Him to give us that which He has specifically orchestrated, we are often blown away by the BIGNESS of His dreams. They put my small plans to shame. And...even if my disrupted hopes aren't replaced by large, flashy, awe-inspiring blessings, there is still value in learning the language of thankfulness. God draws near as He hears His child worship Him.

I've enjoyed thinking about this as I imagine my weak, rusty, disintegrating foundation nails being replaced by sharp, strong, glistening nails...maybe a little thicker and a little wider than the previous ones as I learn how to "give thanks in all circumstances" so I am more securely attached to my Abba Father.

What????

From Laurel on March 6:

I would like to officially offer you this student booking. Below is her arrival information. We pay $60.00 extra for the arrival pick up at the airport. However, I see that she arrives on a Monday, and I know you work? Also, I can't remember which leg you have in a cast? Are you able to drive? Please let us know if this will work. If not, we'll try to arrange it on this end. If possible it's best if the host does the pick up, because a lot of "bonding" happens on the car ride on the way home, but if not, don't worry. So, please let us know if this will all work?

From Laurel on March 11:

Because of the distance to the bus stop, the agent decided he preferred to have the student we originally discussed stay in an alternate location (because she's only 16)...

However, we have another Cascadia student that is 19 to officially offer to you! Since she's not under age, she can be a bit more independent. However, she will still want a ride to the bus stop at least for her morning commute, and I'm sure will be grateful to be picked up in the evenings whenever possible.

Because the original offer was "official," I spent all weekend tracking down furniture for my host student's room. I find it unsettling that an official offer can be made and taken back so easily. There is no consequence for the person rescinding the official offer but for the person to whom it was made there is a significant loss of time, expectations and MONEY!

I am working through this today while I try to focus on teaching. I am trying to trust the Lord to provide. I am trying to rest in whatever His plan for me might be. I am trying to not focus on the unprofessionalism of reneging on a verbal commitment. I am trying to prepare for this new student while bracing myself for the possibility that this opportunity might fall through, as well. Now I have an inkling (a very small inkling) of what prospective adoptive parents go through. Maybe that's part of what God is preparing me for!

Please, Father, if it is Your will - provide a student for my home. You know the desires of my heart.

Craigslist Is My Best Friend

In preparation for Yumeka's arrival, I need to furnish the guest room. I'm limited because I can't scour thrift stores or shop multiple places due to my knee.Even if I found something at the local Goodwill, it would be difficult to strip, sand and paint the furniture before she gets here on one leg! So, who came through for me? Craigslist. I'm in love. Craigslist found me a job at SCS, two complete beds (mattresses included), my living room furniture, and now...Yumeka's furniture. I scored a twin bed (headboard, frame, mattress, boxsprings), 6-drawer dresser, night stand, mirror and trash can for less than $200. From another listing I found a desk and chair...under $100. Do you know how much these items are sold new? The bedroom set is on Amazon for $1800 and the desk is at Wal-mart for $300. I am getting $2100 worth of furniture for under $300. I'm a happy shopper and if anyone knows me, they know that, as it relates to this girl, happy shopper is normally an oxymoron.

The wardrobe is not part of the deal. I have no room for it...nor the footboard.

My Brother The Chef

JP joined Weight Watchers and wanted to experiment with some of their recipes. Last night he made butternut squash soup. It was sooooooo delicious. JP said it made him want to skip spring and summer and go right to fall. I said it wasn't quite that good. Who wants to skip spring and summer? Crazy boy. Anyway, he also served mixed vegetables with cranberries sprinkled throughout and thin fillets of grilled turkey. For dessert, we had a moist white applesauce cake sprinkled with powdered sugar. I could have eaten the whole pan. It would have been great with strawberries on top. I think that's what I'll do tonight. Mmmm....

1st Day Back at School Post-Surgery

Mr. Kim set up a bed smack dab in the middle of a triple room for me in the dorm. On my lunch break and after school, I can retreat to this room to elevate my leg and use the ice machine. It's a nice break but I have to be careful not to move too much or the mattress will fall off the box spring. It's good to be back at work and with the kids. It will take some time before I am back in the swing of a full-time schedule. I am really tired. It hit at about 11:30. Today during chapel they welcomed me back with a standing ovation. Of course, I wasn't there. I only stayed during the singing - then came back to my room to put up my knee. Oh well. They told me about it! Only another hour and a half...then dear WA dad will be here to take me home. Can't wait.

Paper Mosaic Canvas Project - All Done!

Didn't turn out exactly as I had envisioned, but it will do for now. I may try getting rid of the flowers at some point and taking off the stickers. Nothing will come off without leaving paper behind so I'll have to cover everything up rather than removing it (other than the 3-D stickers...they'll peel off.) It matches the furniture and covers the thermostat which we never use so that's good. Time for bed. I'll probably leave the mosaic as it is for now while I ponder how I want to fix it.

Knee Update

I saw the surgeon today and received a really good report. I gained another five degrees in flexibility. Physical therapy has me working on strengthening exercises in addition to the range of motion exercises I was already doing. He said I'm a little ahead of schedule and he is very impressed with how well it is healing. He cleared me to go back to work this week and also said I could begin driving next week if it felt comfortable. I am still not allowed to go without crutches until there is "absolutely no limp." He said once a limp develops after ACL reconstruction, it is really hard to get rid of it. I asked about physical therapists and he said there are two in Bellevue who deal almost exclusively with ACL rehab. If I was interested in transferring from Lynnwood, he would write it in his notes. We agreed I would finish up this week with Andrew, try the new person next week and if I wasn't satisfied I would begin PT sessions in Bellevue for the remainder of my therapy. It will be a long drive and cut into night school, but if the care is better, then it is worth it to me. As you can see from the following photos, my knee is healing nicely. The scar is so much better and the swelling is beginning to go down. I still don't have much of a knee and my inner ankle is a little swollen but it is all moving in the right direction. I'm a happy girl today. Except for the fact that it's SNOWING again. What's up with that?